Why is it that I can see the end result as clear as day, but those on the other side of the aisle can't seem to comprehend what is going to happen to our country?
Now that the healthcare bill is halfway through congress, I am getting a bit scared. Do people seriously need the government to take care of their every need? Are there truly 47 million people in this country that cannot get healthcare? The answer to the first question is, "Unfortunately." However, not all of us are reliant on the government to tell us what to do and how to live. The sad part is that the people that want government healthcare are totally unaware of the ramifications of giving up their freedom. I used to live in a country where we had a choice. The choice to rise above others and make yourself rich. Or the choice to make a comfortable living. We had the choice to save for retirement, or waste our years. We had the choice of working 40 hours per week to provide for our families or to work 80 or more hours a week and get ahead. With this new administration making sure that the economy cannot grow and ensuring that we 'need' them to help us, is it any wonder that more and more people want the easy route?
The answer to the second question is a resounding NO. The numbers of un-insured are skewed in the favor of those that want to pass a ridiculously expensive healthcare plan. The number of uninsured in our country include those that choose not to buy insurance, those that are between jobs (most of which are uninsured for less than 6 months) and illegal immigrants. The number of poor in the country that need the government to help them get insurance is closer to 15 million. Still a lot of people, but a far cry from the numbers touted by congress. Still 15 million: roughly 5% of the population of the country. Why? Why are we ruining the best healthcare system in the world that 95% of the people enjoy so that a few people can be covered? A better question might be, "Why don't we just insure those that truly need help?" We are about to transfer 15% of the GDP of the United States to the control of the government. The same government that has ruined every program it has tried to run: Amtrak, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security to name a few.
It's all about power. I believe that our president is a socialist. I believe it is his grand scheme to make our country a socialist power. He is well on his way. The more he gets his fingers around the throat of our economy, the tighter grip he will have on his dream: a social utopia. He is out to ruin this great nation, and we are letting him do it. I can't help feeling that we're doomed as a nation. Thanks, Uncle Barry!!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Pick Your Target
Freeze it, personlize it, polarize it. This is Saul Alinsky's rule #11, established in his book, Rules for Radicals. It is basically a manifesto for the socialist movement in America.
President Obama is a student of Alinsky. His (Obama's) healthcare issues are not going favorably for him a this time, so what does he do? He falls back on what he knows best: polarizing his target. This time it is the insurance companies that he is demonizing.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8600691
Since the democrats are unable to get their healthcare passed by its own merits, they have chosen a more devious path: making the insurance companies into the fall guys for them. What they are seeking are documents from the insurance companies regarding pay, bonuses, travel, premiums, etc. One can only assime that they are going to paint these companies as evil AIG types that are living the high life at the expense of the peope they are paid to insure. Instead of congress making consessions to the insurance companies such as allowing them to sell healthcare across state lines, they are attacking them as evil capitalist entities tha are interested in nothing but the bottom line.
The democrats seem to be so rigid in their stance on healthcare reform that they are unwilling to listen to anyone- their constituency or their republican counterparts- with an opposing point of view, that they are now willing to risk the nuclear option. They may decide to use the reconciliation rule to get this hideous healthcare program passed. All they need is 51 votes, which they already have, in order to pass healthcare reform in its current state.
Make no mistake, this attempt at garnering information from the insurance companies is an Alinskyesque move. President Obama may not have asked Waxman to do it, but he has undoubtedly, over the past few days, changed his tune to one of disdain for the insurance companies. Small wonder that a few democrats took the ball and are running with it. These politicians know how to use this tactic to their advantage. In the next couple of weeks, the insurance compnaies are going to begin to squirm as the democrats continue to add pressure on them.
I can't wait until November, 2010!
President Obama is a student of Alinsky. His (Obama's) healthcare issues are not going favorably for him a this time, so what does he do? He falls back on what he knows best: polarizing his target. This time it is the insurance companies that he is demonizing.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8600691
Since the democrats are unable to get their healthcare passed by its own merits, they have chosen a more devious path: making the insurance companies into the fall guys for them. What they are seeking are documents from the insurance companies regarding pay, bonuses, travel, premiums, etc. One can only assime that they are going to paint these companies as evil AIG types that are living the high life at the expense of the peope they are paid to insure. Instead of congress making consessions to the insurance companies such as allowing them to sell healthcare across state lines, they are attacking them as evil capitalist entities tha are interested in nothing but the bottom line.
The democrats seem to be so rigid in their stance on healthcare reform that they are unwilling to listen to anyone- their constituency or their republican counterparts- with an opposing point of view, that they are now willing to risk the nuclear option. They may decide to use the reconciliation rule to get this hideous healthcare program passed. All they need is 51 votes, which they already have, in order to pass healthcare reform in its current state.
Make no mistake, this attempt at garnering information from the insurance companies is an Alinskyesque move. President Obama may not have asked Waxman to do it, but he has undoubtedly, over the past few days, changed his tune to one of disdain for the insurance companies. Small wonder that a few democrats took the ball and are running with it. These politicians know how to use this tactic to their advantage. In the next couple of weeks, the insurance compnaies are going to begin to squirm as the democrats continue to add pressure on them.
I can't wait until November, 2010!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A New Beginning
No, it's not Star Wars, just my thoughts on the direction my life is taking.
Ever since I retired from the navy, I have felt like I should be doing something more worthwhile than delivering pizza. Yes, I worked for a contractor for a couple of months, but I realized that I wasn't cu tout to be a 44 year old 'trainee.' My patience level and the teaching methods involved were not copacetic to a good working environment. I do, however, appreciate the time I had there. I learned quote a bit about building, painting, siding, etc. I also appreciate the opportunity to earn a litle money that was given to me by the owner of the company. When work fell off, and we were laid off for a couple of weeks, I simply never went back. They didn't call me to come back to work and I found my current job, so it all worked out pretty well.
So, delivering pizza helps pay the bills. That's about it, though. There isn't really room for personal growth in the industry, unless you want to become a 'company man.' Let me say a bit about the retail food industry. The customer is always right. Period. Even at the expense of the company, the customer is always right. It sucks the life out of management. If someone seriously wants to eat free, all they really have to do is complain. If their complaint is not reasonably addressed by the store manager, all they have to do is complain to the corporate office. Corporate will call the store and tell the manager to give them what they want. Their reasoning behind this? Simple: "How many people do they know that they will tell about the bad service?" Nevermind that there may not have been any bad service... nevermind that the problem may have been addressed locally, nevermind that the same 'customer' has complained and gotten free food for three weeks straight. Unrealistic expectations are commonplace in management of any industry. However, in the food industry, those expectations are magnified. In my company, I am expected to help people at the counter with their order, which I do when I'm not on a delivery. However, only the manager has the key to the cash register. He (or she) has to stop what the are doing, come to the counter, take the money from the customer, unlock the register drawer and make change. Why do I have to work the counter??? Of course, the manager is also expected to keep labor costs down, which means he has to anticipate that business will not pick up and send home the employees that make the pizza, and the drivers that are no longer needed. Typically, after the dinner rush, most of the drivers and insiders (that's what we call our in-store employees) are sent home for the day. Typically, about 30 minutes or an hour after that, we get busy again. I think it's one of those weird Karma things, because it never happens until after the majority of the people are gone for the day. Anyway, the manager s stuck making pizza, doing the inventory, cashing out the drivers, handling daily problems, and working the front counter. The pay for managers in training is pretty pathetic, too. I told my manager that I couldn't afford to be a manager. Too much of a pay cut. So why does the company want only the best people to train as managers, but is unwilling to pay them to stay there for a year or so? If each store has at least 2 assistant managers, and the area has only 7 stores, it stands to reason that not everyone is going to be promoted to general manager. Of course, an even smaller percentage will be promoted beyond managing their own store. Sure, many companies have similar promotion statistics. Simply put, that's life. Be the best at what you do. However, it seems that pizza store managers have an extra set of hand cuffs holding them back. Maybe I'm biased because this is the first long-term job I've had since the navy.
Well, at first, delivering pizza was fun, it kept me busy, helped pay the bills and I made pretty good money, without any responsibility at all. I still make pretty good money, but I recently began to feel like I was wasting away. With no responsibility beyond ensuring that the store is cleaned and stocked up, I felt that my talents are being wasted. I felt that I was becoming stagnant. I couldn't stand the thought of being a 45 year old man whose primary source of income is pizza delivery. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing the job, and I am grateful to have a job when so many don't, I just don't want to be delivering pizza when I'm 45, unless it's a part time gig to help get some bills paid off. I applied for a couple of government jobs. Jobs that I felt I had a pretty good shot at getting. In comes budget cuts. I have yet to hear from either of those government jobs. Probably a good thing in the long run.
The next phase of my life is due to start in another couple of weeks. I made a promise to myself that if those government jobs fall through, I am going back to college. So a few weeks ago I contacted a local technical school to see if I could use my GI Bill to get some education. Well, not only does the GI Bill pay my entire tuition, it also pays me a monthly stipend! Pretty cool. So now I can go to school and cut my hours back a bit and still make a decent amount of money. In a year and a half (hopefully, my transcripts will allow me to get done that quickly), I'll have another degree- this time it'll be in network security. I hope that by the time I get done with this school, the economy has recovered sufficiently and I don't have to worry about finding a good job. I figure I've got about 20-25 years of good work left in me, an I need to make a good amount of money to eventually retire.
Life is good. I have a good woman who loves me (sometimes I wonder how she can stand me), I have a home and a pension check. I have a good family and live in a decent neighborhood. I have God and Jesus loves me. I still have my health (and my healthcare, but that's a post for another day). Things are going to get better.
Ever since I retired from the navy, I have felt like I should be doing something more worthwhile than delivering pizza. Yes, I worked for a contractor for a couple of months, but I realized that I wasn't cu tout to be a 44 year old 'trainee.' My patience level and the teaching methods involved were not copacetic to a good working environment. I do, however, appreciate the time I had there. I learned quote a bit about building, painting, siding, etc. I also appreciate the opportunity to earn a litle money that was given to me by the owner of the company. When work fell off, and we were laid off for a couple of weeks, I simply never went back. They didn't call me to come back to work and I found my current job, so it all worked out pretty well.
So, delivering pizza helps pay the bills. That's about it, though. There isn't really room for personal growth in the industry, unless you want to become a 'company man.' Let me say a bit about the retail food industry. The customer is always right. Period. Even at the expense of the company, the customer is always right. It sucks the life out of management. If someone seriously wants to eat free, all they really have to do is complain. If their complaint is not reasonably addressed by the store manager, all they have to do is complain to the corporate office. Corporate will call the store and tell the manager to give them what they want. Their reasoning behind this? Simple: "How many people do they know that they will tell about the bad service?" Nevermind that there may not have been any bad service... nevermind that the problem may have been addressed locally, nevermind that the same 'customer' has complained and gotten free food for three weeks straight. Unrealistic expectations are commonplace in management of any industry. However, in the food industry, those expectations are magnified. In my company, I am expected to help people at the counter with their order, which I do when I'm not on a delivery. However, only the manager has the key to the cash register. He (or she) has to stop what the are doing, come to the counter, take the money from the customer, unlock the register drawer and make change. Why do I have to work the counter??? Of course, the manager is also expected to keep labor costs down, which means he has to anticipate that business will not pick up and send home the employees that make the pizza, and the drivers that are no longer needed. Typically, after the dinner rush, most of the drivers and insiders (that's what we call our in-store employees) are sent home for the day. Typically, about 30 minutes or an hour after that, we get busy again. I think it's one of those weird Karma things, because it never happens until after the majority of the people are gone for the day. Anyway, the manager s stuck making pizza, doing the inventory, cashing out the drivers, handling daily problems, and working the front counter. The pay for managers in training is pretty pathetic, too. I told my manager that I couldn't afford to be a manager. Too much of a pay cut. So why does the company want only the best people to train as managers, but is unwilling to pay them to stay there for a year or so? If each store has at least 2 assistant managers, and the area has only 7 stores, it stands to reason that not everyone is going to be promoted to general manager. Of course, an even smaller percentage will be promoted beyond managing their own store. Sure, many companies have similar promotion statistics. Simply put, that's life. Be the best at what you do. However, it seems that pizza store managers have an extra set of hand cuffs holding them back. Maybe I'm biased because this is the first long-term job I've had since the navy.
Well, at first, delivering pizza was fun, it kept me busy, helped pay the bills and I made pretty good money, without any responsibility at all. I still make pretty good money, but I recently began to feel like I was wasting away. With no responsibility beyond ensuring that the store is cleaned and stocked up, I felt that my talents are being wasted. I felt that I was becoming stagnant. I couldn't stand the thought of being a 45 year old man whose primary source of income is pizza delivery. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing the job, and I am grateful to have a job when so many don't, I just don't want to be delivering pizza when I'm 45, unless it's a part time gig to help get some bills paid off. I applied for a couple of government jobs. Jobs that I felt I had a pretty good shot at getting. In comes budget cuts. I have yet to hear from either of those government jobs. Probably a good thing in the long run.
The next phase of my life is due to start in another couple of weeks. I made a promise to myself that if those government jobs fall through, I am going back to college. So a few weeks ago I contacted a local technical school to see if I could use my GI Bill to get some education. Well, not only does the GI Bill pay my entire tuition, it also pays me a monthly stipend! Pretty cool. So now I can go to school and cut my hours back a bit and still make a decent amount of money. In a year and a half (hopefully, my transcripts will allow me to get done that quickly), I'll have another degree- this time it'll be in network security. I hope that by the time I get done with this school, the economy has recovered sufficiently and I don't have to worry about finding a good job. I figure I've got about 20-25 years of good work left in me, an I need to make a good amount of money to eventually retire.
Life is good. I have a good woman who loves me (sometimes I wonder how she can stand me), I have a home and a pension check. I have a good family and live in a decent neighborhood. I have God and Jesus loves me. I still have my health (and my healthcare, but that's a post for another day). Things are going to get better.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
How to spend $18 Million.
If it wasn't bad enough to print an extra $750 billion or so dollars and forcibly put it into circulation, now we are finding that not only is the stimulus not working like it was advertised, but that unemployment continues to rise. But it's alright, the president knows what he is doing. I don't like the idea that somehow, when someone is elected to office that he suddenly knows how to fix things. I find the idea ridiculous. A politician, buy his very nature, does not know how to run a business. All a politician knows how to do is get elected and make promises to people that will eitherhelp him get re-elected or line his pockets with more cash. This has never been more true than with the current stimulus package that is supposed to help get our country outof its economic doldrums. First, thepresident puts his number 2 man in charge of the stimulus and making sure that it is being spent in a responsible and efficient manner. Of course, Joe Biden cannot remember the website 'number.' That should have sent a wave of fear throught the hearts of anyone watching the video. Now we find out that the website wasn't doing what they wanted it to do and have decided to spend $18 MILLION re-vamping it.
http://www.760kfmb.com/Global/story.asp?S=10669541
Government mentality, at it finest. Some might say that $18 mil is a dropinthe bucket, but I will say that $18 million would- could- provide about 500 people $36,000 per year. Or, since the website is a five year contract, $18million might give 100 people a $36,000 per year job for the next five years. Since when does a website cost $18 million to re-vamp? This is waste. pure and simple. More waste? Here ya go:
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread481669/pg1
Why is it that our government thinks it can spend its way out of a recession? Even if it were possible, it seems that the only jobs being created by this stimulus package thus far are the sign makers and the website re-vampers. The rest of us are just going to have to wait, I guess.
http://www.760kfmb.com/Global/story.asp?S=10669541
Government mentality, at it finest. Some might say that $18 mil is a dropinthe bucket, but I will say that $18 million would- could- provide about 500 people $36,000 per year. Or, since the website is a five year contract, $18million might give 100 people a $36,000 per year job for the next five years. Since when does a website cost $18 million to re-vamp? This is waste. pure and simple. More waste? Here ya go:
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread481669/pg1
Why is it that our government thinks it can spend its way out of a recession? Even if it were possible, it seems that the only jobs being created by this stimulus package thus far are the sign makers and the website re-vampers. The rest of us are just going to have to wait, I guess.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
As May heads off into the sunset, and June is quickly arriving, I realize that I am about to turn 44 years old. While most of the time I feel that age is simply a number, sometimes I feel every one of those years in my bones. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be by this stage of my life. I have a minimum wage job (I'm still thankful for it), I have more debt than I want and my savings is a joke. I am less fit than I have been for may years and, most days, can't seem to find the desire to get out and exercise. On the other hand, I have a pretty good life. I have a wife that loves me more than I deserve, I have a home, a paid for truck and motorcycle and I had the privilege of serving in the navy for 20 terrific years. However, there's something I've been wanting to do for quite some time and I think now might be the time to do it. I want to tell a side of my life that I usually keep to myself- or, more correctly, not too many people know this side of me.
I quit drinking almost 17 years ago. I quit as a result of a continuing battle with the drug commonly known as alcohol. The only time I ever got into trouble in the navy was a direct result of drinking. The funny thing about it was that only a few days before the ill-fated Saturday, my good buddy Rob asked me what I was going to be doing over the weekend. We both lived in the barracks and worked in an A-6 squadron, so we were working long hours. I told Rob that I would probably go get a bottle of Jim Beam and see how messed up I can get. He asked me "Why do you do that to yourself?" To which I replied, "Well, I figure I'm going to have to quit drinking sometime, so I might as well have as much fun as I can." I had no idea how prophetic my statement was! After finishing most of the bottle of Jim Beam I had gotten earlier in the day, I managed to get myself into trouble (most of the night is still a mystery to me) with a senior petty officer who was living in the barracks at the time. Well, I was put on report and the issue was pushed all the way to the top... At this time I was still trying to blame everyone else for my ills. "It was my first time!" "So-and-so didn't get into trouble, why am I?" "I'm being singled out." At any rate, the morning after my incident (it was actually late in the evening before I got out of bed), I made a conscious decision to stop drinking. This was simply not working for me. I am blacking out and doing stupid things. I am alienating the people around me. I'm not growing as a person.
I made the decision to stop drinking. I made it with the intention of never drinking again. I decided that I would seek the advice of the professionals, so I went to see my command DAPA (Drug and Alcohol Program Advisor). He set me up with the medical facility and I went, willingly. Keep in mind that, at this time, I was also looking at being reduced in paygrade, and possibly being kicked out of the navy, so I had ulterior motives in addition to seriously wanting to figure out why I am the way I am. I found out a few days later that I wasn't supposed to see the DAPA. Actually, he wasn't supposed to see me because of the pending case against me. However, since I had seeked him out, nothing was made of the fact that I went there before my case was settled. I was diagnosed as alcoholic and scheduled to go to rehab! I was quit surprised, but more on that later.
I was scheduled for Captain's Mast http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonjudicial_punishment and was, of course, scared to death. I was determined to make the best case I could, keep myself out of trouble and just be as honest as possible. Surely they wouldn't expel me from the navy if I was seriously trying to be better, would they? I spent hour upon hour practicing what I was going to say to my commanding officer, ironing my uniform, practicing my salute and praying. It's funny (sad, actually) how we reach for God when we are in trouble, but forget about Him most of the rest of the time. I went to my first alcoholics anonymous meeting the day before my mast. I went alone, and had no idea what to expect. More on that later. When the day came for mast, I was ready for the worst. I got my briefing- "salute the CO, remove your cover on my command, stand at attention, etc" and when I stood in front of the Old Man (navy speak for commanding officer), he told me to stand at ease, "we're not going to bust you, we're going to help you." At which point I was relieved, but still wanted to speak (I didn't get the opportunity, but it's OK). My case was dismissed- no record of it remains- but I was directed to go to DAPA...
Now I could get on with figuring out this alcoholic stuff. I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic, I drank mostly on the weekends, and never got drunk during the week. In fact, I rarely drank during the week at all. Still, those occasional blackouts were a little disconcerting. My last drink was on August 17, 1991. I made the decision to quit drinking before the navy decided to 'help' me. I took a battery of psychological tests to determine my level of alcohol dependence. I don't mind stating that, while I had to answer yes to many of the questions, I still didn't feel that I had a serious problem. Afterall, it had been a couple of months since my decision to stop drinking.
February of 1992, I was finally told that I was going to go to Chorpus Christi for alcohol rehab. The flight out there was uneventful; I went there with one other guy from my command- someone else who needed 'help,' and we were not allowed to go anywhere alone, or leave the immediate area. I suppose they were used to dealing with people that were desperate for a drink. Once checked in to the facility at Chorpus Christi, we were immersed into the program the very next morning. 6 weeks of therapy! I went to group therapy, one on one counseling and attended an AA meeting each night. *I have to stop for a moment to say that AA used to have a saying- "Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here." They don't practice that to the letter anymore because discussing the meeting with other members often happens at home, on the phone, etc. However, AA is still very big on anonymity, so while I don't mind talking about some of the subjects, any names I may mention are not real.* I met a lot of very interesting people during the meetings. Some famous people, some doctors, lawyers, housewives, rich people and poor. This disease definitely knows no bounds. However, each night, when I went back to the facility, I still felt like I wasn't really one of those people. Nobody seemed to have quite the same story as me. My counselor beat me up with facts every day. I still came away with the feeling that I was being misdiagnosed. He once told me "If it quacks like a duck and has webbed feet, it's a duck!" His attempt at painting me as an alcoholic was not having much effect. I knew there was a problem, but I felt like I had a handle on it. One night, as I was trying to drift off to sleep, my mind kept going back to the things I had been hearing over the last several days. About 10 days into my treatment, I finally admitted that I was an alcoholic. It's simple, really. I was suffering blackouts. Not that many, maybe 5 in my whole life, but they were happening, I was getting into trouble- again, probably only a few times- and I was losing friends. People just get tired of hanging out with a loud, drunken fool who thinks he's funny, or worse, thinks he's a good dancer... I also fit the criteria: Trouble at work, trouble at home, DUI charges (none stuck, but that's another story), anger, resentment, etc. I disagree with the medical profession labelling anyone who drinks more than a certain amount per week is alcoholic. There are a number of other labels I disagree with, too, but I suddenly felt strongly enough about myself to admit my disease. Funny thing about me is that I never really had to fight the urge to drink. Once it was gone, it was gone. Do I miss drinking a beer on a hot day? Of course I do, but not so much that I shake or crave or am even tempted to have one. I just simply can't do it. I always give thanks to God for removing the desire for alcohol from me.
I quit drinking almost 17 years ago. I quit as a result of a continuing battle with the drug commonly known as alcohol. The only time I ever got into trouble in the navy was a direct result of drinking. The funny thing about it was that only a few days before the ill-fated Saturday, my good buddy Rob asked me what I was going to be doing over the weekend. We both lived in the barracks and worked in an A-6 squadron, so we were working long hours. I told Rob that I would probably go get a bottle of Jim Beam and see how messed up I can get. He asked me "Why do you do that to yourself?" To which I replied, "Well, I figure I'm going to have to quit drinking sometime, so I might as well have as much fun as I can." I had no idea how prophetic my statement was! After finishing most of the bottle of Jim Beam I had gotten earlier in the day, I managed to get myself into trouble (most of the night is still a mystery to me) with a senior petty officer who was living in the barracks at the time. Well, I was put on report and the issue was pushed all the way to the top... At this time I was still trying to blame everyone else for my ills. "It was my first time!" "So-and-so didn't get into trouble, why am I?" "I'm being singled out." At any rate, the morning after my incident (it was actually late in the evening before I got out of bed), I made a conscious decision to stop drinking. This was simply not working for me. I am blacking out and doing stupid things. I am alienating the people around me. I'm not growing as a person.
I made the decision to stop drinking. I made it with the intention of never drinking again. I decided that I would seek the advice of the professionals, so I went to see my command DAPA (Drug and Alcohol Program Advisor). He set me up with the medical facility and I went, willingly. Keep in mind that, at this time, I was also looking at being reduced in paygrade, and possibly being kicked out of the navy, so I had ulterior motives in addition to seriously wanting to figure out why I am the way I am. I found out a few days later that I wasn't supposed to see the DAPA. Actually, he wasn't supposed to see me because of the pending case against me. However, since I had seeked him out, nothing was made of the fact that I went there before my case was settled. I was diagnosed as alcoholic and scheduled to go to rehab! I was quit surprised, but more on that later.
I was scheduled for Captain's Mast http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonjudicial_punishment and was, of course, scared to death. I was determined to make the best case I could, keep myself out of trouble and just be as honest as possible. Surely they wouldn't expel me from the navy if I was seriously trying to be better, would they? I spent hour upon hour practicing what I was going to say to my commanding officer, ironing my uniform, practicing my salute and praying. It's funny (sad, actually) how we reach for God when we are in trouble, but forget about Him most of the rest of the time. I went to my first alcoholics anonymous meeting the day before my mast. I went alone, and had no idea what to expect. More on that later. When the day came for mast, I was ready for the worst. I got my briefing- "salute the CO, remove your cover on my command, stand at attention, etc" and when I stood in front of the Old Man (navy speak for commanding officer), he told me to stand at ease, "we're not going to bust you, we're going to help you." At which point I was relieved, but still wanted to speak (I didn't get the opportunity, but it's OK). My case was dismissed- no record of it remains- but I was directed to go to DAPA...
Now I could get on with figuring out this alcoholic stuff. I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic, I drank mostly on the weekends, and never got drunk during the week. In fact, I rarely drank during the week at all. Still, those occasional blackouts were a little disconcerting. My last drink was on August 17, 1991. I made the decision to quit drinking before the navy decided to 'help' me. I took a battery of psychological tests to determine my level of alcohol dependence. I don't mind stating that, while I had to answer yes to many of the questions, I still didn't feel that I had a serious problem. Afterall, it had been a couple of months since my decision to stop drinking.
February of 1992, I was finally told that I was going to go to Chorpus Christi for alcohol rehab. The flight out there was uneventful; I went there with one other guy from my command- someone else who needed 'help,' and we were not allowed to go anywhere alone, or leave the immediate area. I suppose they were used to dealing with people that were desperate for a drink. Once checked in to the facility at Chorpus Christi, we were immersed into the program the very next morning. 6 weeks of therapy! I went to group therapy, one on one counseling and attended an AA meeting each night. *I have to stop for a moment to say that AA used to have a saying- "Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here." They don't practice that to the letter anymore because discussing the meeting with other members often happens at home, on the phone, etc. However, AA is still very big on anonymity, so while I don't mind talking about some of the subjects, any names I may mention are not real.* I met a lot of very interesting people during the meetings. Some famous people, some doctors, lawyers, housewives, rich people and poor. This disease definitely knows no bounds. However, each night, when I went back to the facility, I still felt like I wasn't really one of those people. Nobody seemed to have quite the same story as me. My counselor beat me up with facts every day. I still came away with the feeling that I was being misdiagnosed. He once told me "If it quacks like a duck and has webbed feet, it's a duck!" His attempt at painting me as an alcoholic was not having much effect. I knew there was a problem, but I felt like I had a handle on it. One night, as I was trying to drift off to sleep, my mind kept going back to the things I had been hearing over the last several days. About 10 days into my treatment, I finally admitted that I was an alcoholic. It's simple, really. I was suffering blackouts. Not that many, maybe 5 in my whole life, but they were happening, I was getting into trouble- again, probably only a few times- and I was losing friends. People just get tired of hanging out with a loud, drunken fool who thinks he's funny, or worse, thinks he's a good dancer... I also fit the criteria: Trouble at work, trouble at home, DUI charges (none stuck, but that's another story), anger, resentment, etc. I disagree with the medical profession labelling anyone who drinks more than a certain amount per week is alcoholic. There are a number of other labels I disagree with, too, but I suddenly felt strongly enough about myself to admit my disease. Funny thing about me is that I never really had to fight the urge to drink. Once it was gone, it was gone. Do I miss drinking a beer on a hot day? Of course I do, but not so much that I shake or crave or am even tempted to have one. I just simply can't do it. I always give thanks to God for removing the desire for alcohol from me.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
I have lately found myself watching the news a lot more than I used to. Following the political debate is fascinating. It's also frustrating. I can imagine that the people on the opposite side of the political spectrum from me feel the same way. While I find the current situation we're in to be frightening because it seems we are moving steadily toward a socialist government, I can imagine that those who are more liberal in their views are likewise thinking that those evil capitalists just won't go away! When I think about it, I see the scenario playing the same way every time, no matter who happens to be in power.
I feel like the conservative approach in politics is the only way that the country will be safe. Instead of re-stating the same reasons, yet again, suffice it to say that my beliefs are what they are and no amount of argument is going to change them. I'm certain that the liberals are feeling the same way, and for the same reasons. It's frustrating! I believe a certain way, and I am absolutely certain that I am correct! Yet I cannot make those who believe the opposite see what I see as plain as the nose on my face. Why can't a liberal understand that capitalism is the only way to make our country grow? Why can they not understand that only wealthy people are able to build an economy (ever gotten a paycheck from a poor man)?
Likewise, liberals must feel some frustration when they think, "why can't those conservatives understand that only government can do this job?" They think we're selfish and greedy because we think that welfare should have limits, because we think that universal health care will ruin both healthcare and the economy, they see the end result- a utopia of happy, unselfish people all working for the common good without the need for competition- as clearly as conservatives see how capitalism encourages growth.
I believe the answer is that each side is struggling to convince those people who form the middle; the people that are pro-life, but feel that abortion is a necessary evil for some. They are looking for the people that feel that a certain amount of government intervention is necessary to keep others from taking unfair advantage. They want those who feel that gun ownership is a right, but should be closely regulated by the government. I believe that most people fall into this category and that is primarily what causes most of the argument. Much like the NRA refuses to give any ground in the fight for gun rights, I truly believe that many of their members feel that individuals have no business owning a RPG. The organization has to fight for the rights of gun owners, just like Planned Parenthood has to continue to fight for the rights to abortion, even for under aged women (this should light a few fires!!). If they give an inch, their fight will look half-hearted and their contributors will cry foul!!
Perhaps this is the reason why most of our recent presidential elections have been for the guy who is going to do the least amount of damage. Who hasn't voted for the "Lesser of 2 Evils?" With the exception of the most recent election, I think most will agree with me on this. Even Barack Obama ran a fairly moderate campaign. Why was this? Simple. He wanted to appeal to the moderates and those voters who congregate toward the center of politics. He was a magnificent candidate, and I'm sure he is a great guy to hang out with. He's a good father and a good husband, he has a terrific looking family (although I do not find Michelle Obama to be as beautiful as the media tends to portray her, but more on that another time), he is athletic, attractive and really smart (his politics not withstanding). He captured the country in a wave of change: promises to be different than any other. Promises to be more transparent. Promises to be open and honest and willing to look at topics from multiple angles. He was going to win this election no matter who the republicans put up against him. Part of me is glad that he won. It has been said that it took our country 4 years of Jimmy Carter to bring us Ronald Reagan. Obama appealed to the moderates. Those of us who simply grew tired of seeing our values tossed aside.
We are never going to be able to change those of a different political bent and we shouldn't want to. We should be able to support our position and appeal to the voters who choose to follow us. Without differences, we end up worse off than we are now... maybe that was the problem all along. Conservatives seem to have lost their way and the liberals were right there to pick up the lost voters.
I feel like the conservative approach in politics is the only way that the country will be safe. Instead of re-stating the same reasons, yet again, suffice it to say that my beliefs are what they are and no amount of argument is going to change them. I'm certain that the liberals are feeling the same way, and for the same reasons. It's frustrating! I believe a certain way, and I am absolutely certain that I am correct! Yet I cannot make those who believe the opposite see what I see as plain as the nose on my face. Why can't a liberal understand that capitalism is the only way to make our country grow? Why can they not understand that only wealthy people are able to build an economy (ever gotten a paycheck from a poor man)?
Likewise, liberals must feel some frustration when they think, "why can't those conservatives understand that only government can do this job?" They think we're selfish and greedy because we think that welfare should have limits, because we think that universal health care will ruin both healthcare and the economy, they see the end result- a utopia of happy, unselfish people all working for the common good without the need for competition- as clearly as conservatives see how capitalism encourages growth.
I believe the answer is that each side is struggling to convince those people who form the middle; the people that are pro-life, but feel that abortion is a necessary evil for some. They are looking for the people that feel that a certain amount of government intervention is necessary to keep others from taking unfair advantage. They want those who feel that gun ownership is a right, but should be closely regulated by the government. I believe that most people fall into this category and that is primarily what causes most of the argument. Much like the NRA refuses to give any ground in the fight for gun rights, I truly believe that many of their members feel that individuals have no business owning a RPG. The organization has to fight for the rights of gun owners, just like Planned Parenthood has to continue to fight for the rights to abortion, even for under aged women (this should light a few fires!!). If they give an inch, their fight will look half-hearted and their contributors will cry foul!!
Perhaps this is the reason why most of our recent presidential elections have been for the guy who is going to do the least amount of damage. Who hasn't voted for the "Lesser of 2 Evils?" With the exception of the most recent election, I think most will agree with me on this. Even Barack Obama ran a fairly moderate campaign. Why was this? Simple. He wanted to appeal to the moderates and those voters who congregate toward the center of politics. He was a magnificent candidate, and I'm sure he is a great guy to hang out with. He's a good father and a good husband, he has a terrific looking family (although I do not find Michelle Obama to be as beautiful as the media tends to portray her, but more on that another time), he is athletic, attractive and really smart (his politics not withstanding). He captured the country in a wave of change: promises to be different than any other. Promises to be more transparent. Promises to be open and honest and willing to look at topics from multiple angles. He was going to win this election no matter who the republicans put up against him. Part of me is glad that he won. It has been said that it took our country 4 years of Jimmy Carter to bring us Ronald Reagan. Obama appealed to the moderates. Those of us who simply grew tired of seeing our values tossed aside.
We are never going to be able to change those of a different political bent and we shouldn't want to. We should be able to support our position and appeal to the voters who choose to follow us. Without differences, we end up worse off than we are now... maybe that was the problem all along. Conservatives seem to have lost their way and the liberals were right there to pick up the lost voters.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Well, pizza delivery isn't so bad. I make decent money (depending on the customers' appreciation), I have very little stress, and I usually get too much pizza to eat. It isn't what I had envisioned for myself after 20 years of service, though. I regret that I didn't prepare myself mire thoroughly throughout my career. I think I may be ready for another job soon, though. I like the people that I work with at Domino's, and I'll probably work there even after I find another career. I just can't see myself working for minimum wage at my age. Even though my pay usually ends up being more like $15-18 per hour, I think I can do better. I am putting some thought into management, but don't see how I could do it, as it would require me taking a cut in pay. Starting out, managers of Domino's make about $9/ hr. It just doesn't compare to my $500/ week. It is intriguing, though. How far could I take it? Could I get up into corporate management? Tough call. I'll certainly continue thinking about it. It's a challenge. I need a challenge.
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